The Wait

Relationships

It’s almost as if our generation is as screwed up as everyone says we are.

If a bloke fails to attempt to get into our knickers on the first or second date, we worry that we’re not attractive. Equally, if a girl doesn’t try and unzip your Levi’s early doors, she’s not keen. I’m wondering where along the line we disregarded the third date rule and adopted a far more “ready” approach?

For me, I think university had something to do with it. Had I resided in London to study English for three years, I probably would’ve lived at home. With this in mind, there would have been far fewer opportunities to bring people home after nights out, but also, my Catholic extraction would have been less likely uprooted by alcohol and debauchery. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never been that religious. I did however undertake a purely Catholic education, leading me to think of sex as something of a sin until sixth form. Even then I thought I would only ever sleep with my boyfriend of the time, get married and give birth to would-be-angels.

But on arriving in Exeter, after an interesting year out, I realised that not everyone felt the same. People here had sex. WITH PEOPLE THEY DIDN’T KNOW. However bewildered and excited by this however, I still didn’t really partake in this past-time, and managed to hold down a relationship for the best part of three years. But I looked up to these people! I wanted to be more like them. Now, on returning to the homeland, I’m not so sure- it’s almost as if people trust the Mayan predictions, but instead of gathering rations and loved ones, we’re reaching for the Durex. Boots; watch your back.

Despite this, I can’t blame everyone for this outlet. In a time of uncertainty, a lack of permanent jobs for graduates and a hell of a lot of rain, we’re all living in limbo, where feelings rarely, if ever, come to the fore. We’re searching for a different sort of buzz from success. This means that more of us are heading out, doing lots of drugs that will probably cripple us in later life, downing gin and bonking because there’s nothing else to do. It’s almost like we’re bored and living in Hull in 1962.

But what is it actually doing for everyone?

With the increase of people logging into these ghastly dating sites, we’re clearly quite keen to settle down. But how often do you hear of people striking up a relationship with someone these days? Having casual sex is far more “normal”. Imagine for example sleeping with someone for the first time (even if you really like them), sober. I bet the thought of that makes around 70% of you wince. There’s Dutch courage and then there’s that.

What I’m trying to say is, is that waiting is underrated. And there’s something to be said for not being so easy. For example, when a male friend was questioned why he wouldn’t have sex with the girl he was getting with, he replied, “because I actually think I might like her”.

I’m not saying lock up your pants and throw away the key, but if you’re more than simply attracted to a person, then sex can still really mean something. Even in 2012.

So whatever the reason for doing it, I can almost guarantee that waiting will turn up the heat…

But as with most things, I guess only time will tell.

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4 thoughts on “The Wait

  1. “It’s almost like we’re bored and living in Hull in 1962.” I love this sentence, how did that come to you?!
    Thanks for this post, i don’t think it happens enough, that the individual stops to consider what they want, instead of feeling a pressure to conform/not allowing themselves to question the “norm”

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